Thursday, 10 March 2011

Stallone/Schwarzenegger: Latest on the Action OAPs

Remember not so long ago, when I lamented that The Expendables "really could have been the explosive epic we were dreaming of, with only some minimal adjustments to the script, and someone else in the director's chair; someone able to commit themselves 100% to that job, rather than spreading themselves thinly across the whole thing like Stallone has"...?

Well, the man himself may have been paying attention, for Stallone has announced he will relinquish writing and directing duties for The Expendables 2.

Delusional? Moi?

In all seriousness though, this is encouraging news. That feverishly hyped action star ensemble piece wasn't a fraction of the film it should have been. Even so, it did good business worldwide, and as such it seems unlikely they'll have any difficulty getting a slightly bigger budget this time. The whole cast are said to be happy to return, and there are whispers that Jean-Claude Van Damme might join them this time around, and others besides I'm sure. Get a good old-school action director behind the camera and we're away. Hey Stallone - still got your old pal Renny Harlin's number...?

The other big news regarding the action old school is, of course, the now ex-Governator declaring his return to acting. (Quite surprised I haven't seen more "He Said He'd Be Back" headlines.) His presence in The Expendables 2 doesn't seem too unlikely, but on top of this he's reportedly been offered remakes of many of his most famous films and, perhaps most intriugingly, an as-yet unspecified comic book character; the long-mooted Sgt Rock, perhaps?

Now, I don't want to be a killjoy. BUT...

I can't really picture Arnie coming back the way we'd like him too. Age has been harder on him than his old BFF/arch-nemesis Sly. Yes, he's been out of the picture moviewise for most of the past decade, but let's not forget that in the movies he made immediately before that - Terminator 3, Collateral Damage, The Sixth Day, End of Days - he looked past his best already, truly too old for that shit. Oh, and let's also not forget that all the aforementioned films were crap. His last truly great film was True Lies, and that was - yowser - seventeen years ago.

Given all this, it's a little hard to picture the man jumping back into all the running, punching and shooting the-shit-out-of-everything that we once loved him for. So failing that, what is he going to rely on... his (gulp) acting?

Well, they've battled commies, terrorists, drug lords and the like; I suspect Arnie and Sly won't be giving up their battle with old age just yet.

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